| alone |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|08:49 pm] |
Will I be able to shake this off and start over? I'm scare.....I've always had someone with me and now..now I'm really alone. I haven't slept peacefully because the sounds of this place scare me with out you. I lock the doors and hide away in my own little world. I don't feel safe.
When you left me you stripped me of everything, 8 years of my life and my love and you shrug it off for someone you met a week ago. I'm not good enough anymore. Damaged goods no one wants.
I show a strong face to the world but inside I'm adrift. I don't hurt anymore and I do wish you well and do want to remain friends..but god I'm scared. Can I make it on my own two feet? You left me with nothing but an emptiness inside and bills to pay while you go play dad to children that arnt yours.
So..listless...so alone. |
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| story |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|08:38 pm] |
Listening to music right now and it seems to fit my current mood, lyrics by lorin tacket.
Every story has a begining
Every winner defeats a loser
Motive
Conflict
Tension
Release
My story has a begining and I'm constantly changing the ending. |
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| I dont know what to do |
[Sep. 13th, 2009|11:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
I feel like I have already lost you. I have been with you through out everything and this all of a sudden is.. so blindsiding. Its so out of the blue. We where doing better, we even had extra money to get out of the appartment and go do things for the week I was on vacation. You smiled alot and we both laughed.
Now you say you arnt happy and that when you are with her you are. I am so confused.. what did I do wrong, why am I suddenly not good enough? You met her last week and she has turned my world upside down. I stayed home sick from work today, you went to meet with friends and her, which was preplanned. Thats fine, but you didnt get home until 9pm after leaving at noon. Youw ouldnt answer my calls or text and stated your phone and died and alot of the time you where in a no signal zone.
At first you act like it was pretty bad and you would have come home sooner had you been driving, but after awhile I asked where we stood and you still dont have an answer. Today you where supposed to find those answers. Every moment of this is tearing me appart and I dont know how much longer I can stand it. Im crying pretty much all the time, I want to cuddle you and hold you close but I feel like you are only faking your smiles...Ive already lost you.
To the point that right now I cant be in the same room with you, it hurts too much to be near you. Knowing you are texting her on the phone I bought you, the plan I pay for.. I do everything for you. Today was supposed to be the 'we can only be friends part' and that didnt happen. You cant have both of us, and I cant believe that you would throw 8 years of our lives away for someone you have met twice. If you leave... I wont be coming back. As much as it hurts me to say so i would always be scared you would hurt me this way yet again...
I have forgiven you in the past... 4 times is too much. This is the last time. Make your choice and then live with it. I am scared though that you will choose me and then continue on with her as a 'friend' and then have things happen later. I dont want to postpone it, Im already hurting enough now.
Those who hurt you the most are those you love the most. |
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| Summer joys |
[Jul. 24th, 2009|10:41 pm] |
What I wouldnt give to have a carefree summer vaction again. When you're young you dont really realize how nice it is. However going to the pool on my weekends will have to do. Cant exactly have a summer off and still be expected to be paid and with out money it makes it kinda hard to live.
Things are stressful at work, just trying to get through the day and manage to get my work done in the process. My boss has given my extra work as well, which is kinda nice. I am chosing to take it as a complament that he trusts me enough to get my extra tasks completed in additon to my regular work.
Anyway just wanted to write down a little bit here since, once agan I have abandoned this journal to the cobwebs. |
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| Dreams |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|12:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
I know I havent written in a long time. In part its because I havent been online much and others its because I havent wanted to write down what things have been like.
I promised Yelena I would write down two strange dreams I have had in the same number of nights. These dreams are WTF and make no sence to me but I find them disturbing. They verge on nightmares for me, while I do not wake up screaming or in a cold sweat they leave me unsettled.
The first one is the one that leaves me the most curious because its really kind of laughable when you look into it.
So... for some reason Troy and I both are on a big fratter or battle ship. We are taking refuge behind a large black helicoper with a bay, rather like the ones the military uses that looks like it can hold about 10 men in the body. We are at war with Cuba, or at least Cuba is against us somehow. (Now I have nothing against Cubians. O.o Im probably the least racisist person you will ever meet lol) SO anyway, we hear a chopper pass over head and troy tells me to watch it pass.. I look out from around the nose of the chopper and am pretty much met with the barrel of a gun. Castro himself is staring down at me (young Castro from his hayday) in a chopper like the one we where hiding behind. Troy and I book it, dogding bullets and running down and leaping down stairs. Its a very Action movie style scene. After a short chase scene troy ends up missing the edge of the boat as we skitter around the side of the vessle and I barely make it and hide behind a wall. I Look back and I can see troy swimming in the water beside the boat. I hear footsteps and duck behind the wall again. 3 shots are fired and some snotty evil comment is made from Castro (whom is the only one chasing us, none of his men are.) I chance a look back and troy is now floating in churning water as the boat passes and the water is turning red. I woke up as the footsteps started coming towards me.
Second dream.
Troy had been cheating on me with a friend of mine, I randomly ended up at a bar playing a game and drinking and ran into her ex husband whom is also my friend. We end up talking about it and are both kind baffled that the two of them would do that. NOW somehow this fast forwards to being at my mothers house, rather the house that I grew up in which was demolished so she could bring in her new one. Either Mnt. St. Helens is blowing up or Mnt. Ranier is... and we are in its path with pretty much no escape. Bill is there and my family is too though I never see them I know they are there, Troy is there along with Cash, a guy I kinda know from work.
Cash and troy are outside, we had been fighting and also trying to make up. He and Cash for some reason had both chosen to stand outside in the blast zone of the lava/ash cloud that is coming. One of them states that it is better for a quick death. I was outside with them trying to get troy inside and suddenly its too late, I run inside just in time and the blast that comes through is much shallower than had been expected, us in the house make it and those outside didnt. I watched from my bedroom window and saw it all. (my dreams are disterbingly graphic....)
At that point I woke up, and I was bloody pissed. I lothe nightmares evern since they plagued me as a child and it was too early for me to wake up and still be able to function at work. So I told myself I was going to go back to sleep and change the outcome of my dream.
I went back to sleep and this time I managed to pull troy back inside the house just in the lick of time, cash was burned to death but we both made it. Somehow it rewound in my mind to the point were we where all outside again...
So I try to convince troy that we might still have a chance and that if he dies out here he dies for nothing. He finally agrees but its too far from the house. We lock ourselves up inside one of the cars but it isnt enough and the windows melt and we are both burned alive.
So... there you have it. Lots of death. Fucking dreams. |
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| Because I like random quiz's |
[Dec. 10th, 2008|02:39 pm] |
Your Element Is Air
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You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.
And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.
Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.
You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.
You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.
With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!
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| Fluffy! |
[Nov. 8th, 2008|01:47 pm] |
So Troy had been approved for a compaion animal by his doctors and with the propper paperwork filled out this means that we do not have to pay a deposit for the appartment. Its to help with his depression since its only us here and he gets bored easy and his thoughts tend to wander away from him. This will help him by giving him something to do and take care of.
So we went to the local animal shelter and we found a dog that tugged at our heart strings. He will be arriving on monday after he gets fixed. He is aprox. 6 months old, he is a black lab and Shar pei mix, but to me he just looks like a lab with a curly tail. No loose or extra baggy skin.
He licked at our hands and pawed at the gate when we walked over. Sniffed our hands and licked all over us. When we took him out he about tackled Troy to give him kisses. He is adorable and I think he will help a great deal.
Yay for dogs and the healing bonds that a human can share with them. |
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| Picture |
[Sep. 27th, 2008|01:47 am] |
Ok lets try this again, I think I finally nailed it. I looked through alot of images for this request and when I saw this one its like I -knew- it was right. My mind went thats IT! But when I tried to write or discribe why... words failed me and I couldnt put it down. Ive been thinking about this for days now and I believe I have it.
This is the image I chose. All my different sides in one picture, my innocent nature treading near danger unknowingly. I love to read, so the stack of books is very fitting. I would rather have the knowlage of the world, our past. Novels, diaries.. histories, fairy tales long forgotten or changed with the telling, than any amount of jewels or shiney bobbles. (though those would be a good second choice. XD)
The woman is me to most people, gentle, caring, putting herself in the fire for anothers wellbeing. The dragon, is my darker side. Because when I am hurt, when I have been wounded, or if you have hurt someone around me I will spew fire. I will find your weak points and I will pick at them, I will be lowly, dirty, underhanded. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you have felt the pain that you inflicted. My words will burn, and I will see red.
I dont like that side of myself because it gets out of control and I normally later regret what I have done. When im hurt I have two reactions, to shrink back into myself, or to lash out. It all depends on the level of pain you have inflicted on me or others I care for. |
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| Come to my Garden |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|02:34 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Come to my garden | ] |
Ive been really down due to certain events and Im just very confused on what path to take and feeling very alone in the world right now. Times like this I find myself drifting back to highschool, when life was simple and all I had to do was go to class and study. Particularly I dift back to choir and all the fun I had, the events we did, the special groups I was apart of and how I so dearly loved music.
My final semester of highschool was was the Section leader for the sopranos, which was awesome. before that I had been basicly the leader for the second/mezzo sopranos due to the fact I had a strong voice and often our part would differ from that of the first sopranos.
I hum at work in order to stay focused on my task and not the conversations of the tele-reps around me. That is the extent of my singing now, lest I sing softly in the car to a song on the radio. My Thyroid gland presses in against my vocal chords and it hurts to hold a note sometimes. My range is that of an alto and no better if I do sing anymore, so I have basicly given up trying because even some of the higher range notes I should be able to hit I cant anymore.
Its so bloody depressing to have something I loved to do taken away from me. I was not the best singer in the world. I ranked a 2 on the music festivals, which all in all isnt bad, but its not the best. I needed mainly to focus my sounds and range.
One time *chuckles* I was part of a small group Bob (music teacher) had put together, 3 girls and 3 guys (I think, memmory is fuzzy) The ones I remember being in it, where Me, Laura, Noah, Josh.. I think Ashley and Steve where there.. I dont recall anymore.. nor do I recall the song we sang.. But we ranked a 1 and a half and it was the best fun I have ever had. I was in mass choir more than once and our school, our choir won.
Do you know how great that feels? To compete against other schools, some with choirs much bigger than our own and to come out on Top! we won several years in a row.. I come from a very small town in the middle of nowhere.. so to beat the bigger cities schools was amazing.
Anyway, listening to things like Les Miserables (one of my first solo's was a part of I dreamed a dream) and Come to my garden/lift me up from the secret garden where I sang the part of Colin.
Before I relized how much my voice was gone I had entertained the idea of looking into a choir group locally.. but working nights pretty much makes that impossable and It would take alot of work to get me to be a propper alto in my current state. So I am left to hum, and left with memories.
LILY:
Come to my garden,
Nestled in the hills.
There I'll keep you safe beside me.
Come to my garden.
Rest there in my arms.
There I'll see you
Safely grown and on your way.
Stay there in the garden,
Where love grows free and wild.
Come to my garden.
Come, sweet child.
COLIN:
Lift me up and lead me to the garden,
Where life begins anew.
Where I'll find you,
And I'll find you love me too.
LILY:
Lift me up and lead me to the garden Come to my garden,
Where life begins anew Rest there in my arms.
Where I'll tell you, There I'll
where I'll show you See you safely grown
A new life, I will live for you. And on your way.
I shall see you in the garden, I shall see you in my garden,
Where spring will come and stay. Where love grows free and wild.
Lift me up and lead me to the garden. Come to my garden,
Come, sweet day! Come, sweet day! |
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| weird dream |
[Sep. 4th, 2008|01:09 pm] |
I dont dream often and I have the oddest ones when I am woken up and then drift back to sleep. If I dont jot this down I'll forget the details and then just remember I had a dream about something later. The only reason im taking the time to write this down is because I found it so...so very strange and wtf.
Mkay, so it started out with me and my family out in the country. My father is included with this as he often is when I dream about my family. Its nothing but a field and a barn, I peek inside the barn and there are two women painting and alot of completed and works in progress hang on the walls where one would expect to see farm tools. I smile I walk to the woman near the back while my family stays near the front and surveys the artwork on the walls and makes idle chat. Apparently I have comissioned the woman for a painting of some sort (If I recall it had something to do with animals, specificly a pomerianian.(sp) )
Im chatting with her when suddenly there is an explosion and we all hit the deck, the woman I was talking to is dead and my ears I ringing. I try to rush outside only to hear a plane over head and watch the next set of bombs rain down from the sky. I run back inside and usher everyone into a smaller room inside the barn and tip over a table. Im still near the door and my younger sister is just barely in front of me, I hear them hit and Jump. I curl up over my sister protecting her and we just barely make it behind the table. Several more explosions later and we're all ok. I peek at the table and there are sharp metal bits burried deep inside the wood. We would have died.
We stand up and dust off and my dad says something like "thats it 12, no more for 12 hours. lets go home"
SO flash to us at home in the woods where I grew up and our home is like a mini compound of survivors. There are people with guns and people that are wounded. Some how I start thinking about how the school buses are going to be targeted and what about the children. Just then A school bus comes down our drive way and is full of people, children and so on. It also has Ron, a friend of my dads and my sisters God father. He's in a torn suit and has a band of shells around his chest, a huge gun on his back and a bandana around his head. (rambo much?)
Just as he gets out a shout says "they're here!" and the world expolodes into motion. Guns fire, and up over the trees I see these small hellicopters. They are kinda like the ones used in the show mash, but where the wounded would have been strapped they have ben outfitted with guns. I grab a bazzoka and take it out, and more appear over the ridge. In a save attempt we pile everyone in the bus taking out the choppers as we go. Burning as they fall from the sky. We High tail it down the drive way and im in the back seat and my dad is on the seat across from me. My brother is in the seat in front of me and ron is across from him. we are speeding heavily down little rock rd and a white van appears behind us. I see the passenger adjust him self like he's grabbing something and and shout out he's going to shoot. Everyone ducks down in their seats but me and my Dad and Ron. He sits bck for a moment almost like he had tried to catch us by surprise and finally leans out the window and shoots. My Dad had a larger caliber gun and while the shooters had left a small hole his shatters not only our back window but the windsheild of the van and the guy jerks and lays back in the seat. The van swirves and goes off the road. For some reason we yell to kick it in reverse and we speed down the very curvey road, in a school bus, in reverse. After a bit of this is when I wake up.
So Yes, very strange, and left with a feeling of wtf. *chuckles* |
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| cravings |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|02:04 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Gigi - The Riddle | ] |
Most recently a huge craving of mine was cheesecake. LOVE IT but rarely eat it because its expencive and...im dangerous around it. Seriously I will eat so much of it if im allowed. *laughs* Im horrable I know but the creamy taste is something I love and depending on the type or who makes it they all have different textures and tastes.
The kind my grandmother makes is my all time favorit and will always be, its more of a cheese pie than a cheese cake because it is kinda runny, almost like pudding. However it is HEAVEN ON A FORK.
Anyway I picked some up the other night from the store because it just sounded so good and my birthday was coming up so I figured I would spoil myself. XD YUM. I have been a good girl and ive been babying it, not eatting very much a day. *chuckles*
And right now pizza sounds good for lunch so I think I shall order one. *zips off* |
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| ART and its my birthday <3 |
[Aug. 31st, 2008|12:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
Alright, So Im now 23 whoot? Not much to rejoice in getting older but its another year behind me and a day of celebration. Im going to visit my Mom and Stepfather, Siblings and some friends later today and we're going to have a birthday BBQ. When mom sugested the idea I jumped on it because I dont often get to see them anymore since I moved and when I was growing up Dad had a BBQ just about every weekend, rain or shine. So.. its kinda like family tradition. I really miss him sometimes, and he will always be with me in my heart.
Anyway I was checking my PM's on Gaia and one of the artists I have been waiting for has a sketch done of one of my comissions. (I requested 2 from her, one regular Shariea as I have come to love her and the second lacking her horns and wings and in 'dancers silks' as I discribed them to the artist. <.< to better reflect how she looks in Second life.)
So this first one is the one she sent and I love her style.
The artist likes her so much she said she might throw down some simple colors (which is awesome because I only paid for the line art.)
Gaia is an Anime based webforum mainly for younger kids, I started there in 2003 and I have met people both my age and older that I pack around with and have come across some very talented artists there.
This also got me thinking I have some other art I have comissioned I havent shown off here. I like seeing what other people can do with my character designs and most often just give them a simple run down. So here are some other pieces I have Comissioned from Various artists.
Chibi style, but adorable.
Art from Ebony Dragon on Deviant art, also on Gaiaonline.
This piece I paid for cash, which I rarely do. This is heavily scaled down and the background removed. This cost me 50 bucks, but I feel it was well worth it for the quality. This is a VERY large picture in scale and is acutally my background for my laptop. Another thing special about this peice is the artist gave me the orginal image in a format that I can remove layers....say the background.. horns, wings.. her clothing. *coughs* Artist draws very nice boobs XD
Link to larger version but still not full quality because photobucket scales them down.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Onyxdawn/gaiaart/shariea1.jpg
Anyway that is entirely random and I have other art I have comissioned of other characters but this is enough art spam for now. |
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| Hold me |
[Aug. 28th, 2008|06:00 pm] |
I dont care of this song is not in english since the first time I heard it I loved it. And right now it speaks to me. Music video is of an unrelated anime called Princess Tutu. :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9197GTl1ASg
Rough translation of song:
That our world needs
More love every day
Both I and you know
Let us begin here and now
So hold me
Don't let go
I'm like enchanted by you
Oh, I want you
Come and hold me now
Yes, come closer a while
Can you hear my breath
My blood rushes wild and hot
In so many different ways
So come and hold me...
My pulse beats, I see your look
I'm in a helpless mood
And won't be saved until you
give me CPR
So hold me...
Am lost and seduced, I'm shook up and touched
My heart beats so hard, leaving you alone is so hard
And I think you see that I'm falling more and more
Hold me!!
Yes, hold me... |
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| Comissions! |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|11:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
So, woke up this morning and checked my comission status with an artist on Gaia. Lo and behold she has the line art completed for three of my characters. They will be CG'ed later and I have 3 more waiting which will remain in line art status. But I am so full of squee and wonderfullness at them. Taro I heart you!
First up we have Shariea art. I adore he pose and the details in it.
Then we have Marik and Kaejah. Marik Is a roleplay character by my friend Dosojin/Shadowmage. The roleplay is one loosely based around the last unicorn and Kaejah is a complete and utter bitch. :P Love her.
And last on the list for now is Onyx, a character of mine I created some years back to roleplay in an Anime Mush. After all everyone is obligated to have at least one Neko character right? XD I sadly dont really roleplay her anymore but she's still special.
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| Art Spam! |
[Aug. 21st, 2008|11:37 pm] |
I was digging through my photobucket and found some older pictures of mine.
This is a design I worked up to cover up an existing home done tattoo on my right leg. The tattoo I currently have was one I did myself at the age of 15 out of spite and bordom with pen and Indian ink and a needle. Its a faded, inverted cross in black and it has a design in very faded blue around it. This may change as the artist sees fit when I can eventually afford my cover up.
Dragons are a very important animal to me, while mythical I do find them alluring and beatiful. I always figured this would make a good tattoo if it was cleaned up a bit.
A very old sketch I did while I was in highschool absently looking at a DnD Monster mannual.
Another dragon but one of my Favorit that I have ever done, and I dont think Ive been able to match again what I pulled off here.
One of my first incantations of 'Shariea'. She is a few years old now and has drasticly grown. I comission art of her from time to time because as a character she is special and dear to my heart.
And thats it for some of the older stuff that I found that I thought was any good. I'll have to dig around some more at another time. |
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| Day off |
[Aug. 21st, 2008|06:10 pm] |
So I dont wright enough happy in here. Mainly because I tend to over look things or dont wish to bore anyone. So here is a mild dash of happy, no big deal but yay days off!
I cleaned up the kicthen, did some of the laundry and am now happily relaxing on the couch. I renewed my WoW account the other night because I was so bored with no one to talk to I kinda just needed to veg out.
*dances* I play horde side on Thorium Brotherhood and my Blood elf pally Arrastia (main Character) is now at 59. I hope to hit 60 soon so I can start outlands and go on raids with the guild and Ressy. Forgot how much I missed this game over the last few months.
Tomorrow I have to return to work, of which I will admit im a little scared of. They have changed everything from the way it used to be while I was away, and I used to really like my job. I almost wonder if it would be better for me to return to the phones as a regular customer service rep. O.o
I've been responding to roleplays I'd left alone on gaia for too long, getting back into Soquili and Shadows of Africa. Samus mentioned to me wanting one of the lions, so I am in mid plot to aquire one for her. You dont mention to me you want something when its in my means to do it for you. :P
So there is a mild dash of happy, right now thats a brilliant state from where I was. |
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| FMLYHM |
[Aug. 18th, 2008|01:39 pm] |
You could've been the real one
You could've been the one enough for me
You could've been the free one, the broken down and sick one
Had enough of vacant life
You come around when you find me faithless
You come around when you find me faceless!
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP AND TEAR IT DOWN]
DIG IT UP AND HOLD ME OUT
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP, TEAR IT DOWN]
I love the sound when you come undone
You could've been the next one [God only knows]
You could've been the one to comprehend me
You couldve been the only one, the broken down and sick one
You couldve been the one who I lie with
You come around when you finally face this
You come around when you find me faceless!
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP AND TEAR IT DOWN]
DIG IT UP AND HOLD ME OUT
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP, TEAR IT DOWN]
Don't make a sound till I come undone
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME
You could've been the real one
You could've been the last one I lie with
You could've been the owned one
I shouldve been the one who died
You come around when you finally face this
You come around when you find me faceless!
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP AND TEAR IT DOWN]
DIG IT UP AND HOLD ME OUT
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP, TEAR IT DOWN]
I love the sound when you come undone
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME]
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME]
F**K ME LIKE YOU HATE ME [DIG IT UP, TEAR IT DOWN]
You'll come around when you find me faceless
I listen to songs to help with my moods, the hard beat of the drums, driving metal whatever it may be helps. This song in particular is helping me now. Also Pain from Three days Grace. :P I might dig out my Tristania and Kitty CD's later. Im in desperate need of some hard core scream fests. |
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| Deliver me |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|02:49 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Sarah brightman-Deliver me | ] |
This is all that need be said about my current state.
Music video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk4o5yqRhDk
Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.
All of my life I've been in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.
Deliver me, loving and caring.
Deliver me, giving and sharing.
Deliver me, the cross that I'm bearing.
All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.
Deliver me,
Deliver me,
Oh deliver me.
All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.
Deliver me,
Oh deliver me.
Won't you deliver me. |
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| A test for you |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|01:04 am] |
Hehe, does what you think of me match up with what I have put down? A little quiz for fun!
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| Tarot deck |
[Aug. 26th, 2007|09:30 pm] |
Ok, So I finally have done it. After years of saying, Yeah I should get them and gleening over wanting to use them. Poking around with my Orcal cards which only seem to give vauge hints and no real direction...I ordered some.
The deck that caught my eyes years ago. I ordered the celtic Dragon Tarot, and the book as I have no real understanding of what the cards mean. So.. go me!
I dont know, it seems like a big step for me in some way. |
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| Update-ness |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|06:27 pm] |
Hokay, So...things have been going alright. I got my first paycheck yesterday and im like... broke again. Im holding on to 100 bucks purely for Gas, so hey.
Anyway, yes Im working from 2:30 to 11pm at night monday through friday in tumwater. *nods* So your best time to catch me... awake... would be from like 10 am -1pm weekdays before work and the weekends, should you need me for anything.
Still trying to do something with art, but Meh... I havent have much of desire to draw lately and what I do seems to turn to crap.
I MISS EVERYONE! Just being around home all the time sucks, Im a friggen home body. Doesnt help that ive virtually lost touch with everyone... |
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| Pollywogs, Priates and deer oh my. |
[Jul. 16th, 2006|08:58 pm] |
I saw PotC Dead mans chest today. IT tottaly rocked. And thats all I'll say to avoid spoilers and the like. ^^
It was an good day over all, started off me refusing to wake up. I was tired as hell and the sun wouldnt go back down dispte my avid pleeding with it. So I got up, took my pills, Took a shower, yadda yadda yadda. And hour later we head out on a trip to capitol forest in search of pollywogs/tadpolls.
We get there and the road to the pond don wanted to go to was blocked off. So we looked at the stream for awhile from the bridge then headed off towards a boat launch elsewhere.
When we where at the boat launch we spotted a doe trotting up the hillside. So yay, that was cool. But then a little while later we hear this great crashing and breaking of limbs. We're like.. wtf? It sounded large. Then out pops this little faun, still had its spots and everything. The little darling was across the bank from us, no father than 50 feet. It drank from the river and then just stared at us. After awhile it got bored with us and went back up the bank.
we continued to look for tadpolls to know avail. Then after awhile I look down the river and who do I see but our little friends. Both mom and fawn where crossing the river down stream in the shallows. It was so neat. <3
So yay, I had a good day. |
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| Blah |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|12:55 pm] |
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Im not doing very well, dont want to post why a few of you know already so whats the point right? *sighs and curls up in a ball* |
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| Because this sounds entertaining |
[Feb. 18th, 2006|05:48 pm] |
Yanked this from Kimie Kitty
If you had me alone...locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me? Then re-post this in your LJ- or don't. You might be surprised with the responses you get. |
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| Sacrid space |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|07:00 pm] |
While clensing my aura last night, I recived a visit from Coyote. A Spirt Guide from a friend of mine, whom took me under his wing so to speak. Anyway he said he needed to show me something, So I followed him. He took me it seemed through time and space, through mountains and valleys, over oceans and lakes. We finally arrived in a Medow/valley of sorts. With a Large single tree before the plus grass melts into the forest. A Babbling Brook cuts through the trees not far off from where I stood, and while flowers dot the horrizon. In the distance snow topped mounatins loom, protection and dominating and he tells me that this place is mine.
I get the feeling I have been there before, for I have often Imagined such a thing, Yet to see it so vividly and hear his words was quite astounding. He tells me that I should often return there to gather my thoughts, and that all of the animals that dwell with in are my friends. Each one is to teach me a lesson upon the road of life.
Coyote also told me that I should do a reading with my cards tonight and trust in that reading fully. Im not sure what is come to pass.. but something big is coming my way. Coyote has not visited me in quite some time, and to see him so...serious.. was almost unnerving.
I have yet to do my reading, But I will do another update with the results... |
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shariea's journal
